This is a letter I might have written; to be dramatic, to convince, to try to accept, to try to change an outcome.  Way back in college when the melancholy was overwhelming and I didn’t understand how to deal with the loss of a relationship.  It has its roots in “I Can Let Go”, by Michael McDonald.

Dear Someone Lost,

I have to say this. It’s hard but I have to.  What we had was so wrong but something tells me it was so right, too.  Almost at the same time.   In the end, no one really knows the pain and anguish a heart can take.  But, for you the memories cling and keep you there, holding on, until you no longer care.  Then, it becomes easy for you and you can let go.  But I still can’t. 

I know it’s wrong for me to cling to you. I do.   But, somehow, I just needed time.  Just time.  Because of what I thought was to be.  You know it’s not like me to hold somebody down.  You know that and I promised.  But man, Someone Lost, I was tossed so high; by your love, by us, by what it all promised.  I swear I almost never came down.  But I did. And when I did it was only to land here, where love is no longer found, I’m no longer bound by it…and I can let go now.

All my love,

A love-sick, immature boy

Golden, 2022

Photo by Pierre Bamin